Custom Designing an Engagement Ring: What to Expect

For many young people about to get engaged, the process of custom-designing any item is a new experience, and for even more, making a serious jewelry purchase may also be a first. Engagement ring trends have become more diverse in the past few years, opening up what was once a rather limited vision of what an engagement ring should be to a whole world of creative, personal, and customized options. We love the amazing artistry and freedom of expression that come with the custom engagement experience, but we understand it can be a little daunting. Secrète Fine Jewelry in Washington, DC, and Bethesda, MD, came up with a guide to help you have the best, easiest, and most rewarding experience custom designing an engagement ring.

Expect to see and try several rings before making up your mind.

When you’re custom-designing an engagement ring, whether you’re shopping as a couple or alone for a surprise-engagement, there’s a lot to see. Expect to take some time at the jewelry store looking at or trying on rings. The design process always starts with inspiration, and there’s no better way to help refine your vision than by trial. Even if your inspiration point is an abstract idea, seeing what’s possible can help focus that vision. 

Some brides-to-be are certain they’re in love with a particular shape, style, or color until they actually see it on their hand. When it comes to knowing your ring style, a ring on the hand is worth a thousand on the screen. The design team at Secrète will carefully select examples that reflect aspects of the unique vision you have for your own ring so that you can knowledgeably make decisions from the overall design to the smallest details. 

In addition to finding your own style, trying on rings in a jewelry store helps you scope out the quality of a jeweler’s work. You can even ask a jeweler to see photos of past custom engagement rings made there (it’s not rude: jewelers love to show off!) so you can get an idea of the type of work they do. You may see some of a jeweler’s most interesting work in photographs of past custom creations. 

The gorgeous filigree details on this platinum engagement ring were a perfect way to incorporate the romantic vintage-inspired details the bride loved in a ring with a more timeless and delicate profile. A designer worked with the groom-to-be for several weeks before this design was chosen, given them time to discuss and perfect every detail.

Don’t expect to necessarily see “the one” right away.

If you’re custom-designing an engagement ring, you might have a unique vision that’s likely not available “off the rack,” so if you don’t see the ring of your dreams in the showcases, don’t be discouraged. Our designers will have you try on a number of rings that have elements of what you’re describing (but maybe not all of the elements in one ring), then we’ll use your feedback about the different elements you tried to draft a sketch of your design. 

You may even have to review a series of sketches or digital images before the design is final. Be patient with a little back and forth until the perfect blueprints are made. You’re going to cherish your engagement ring for a lifetime, so speak your mind if you want to change a few details or reimagine it if the sketch isn’t perfect just yet. Your designer is happy to listen to ideas about possible changes until it’s just right.

This gorgeous sunny fancy yellow diamond engagement ring was custom-designed by Secrete for a Maryland couple. The bride hadn’t originally considered yellow diamonds, but once she tried some on in our showroom, she fell in love with their sunny beauty. We incorporated elements of several rings she liked in the showcase to create her ring.

Be open to the possibility that you might change your mind.

People start the design process from various points of view. Some people come in with detailed drawings on graph paper or labeled photographs; more often, clients start the process with some adjectives (like “vintage-inspired,” “dainty,” “Art Deco” or “Kate Middleton-ish”) and maybe a few screenshots of other rings they’ve liked. 

However you start the process, it’s natural if your ideas change a little. You may have envisioned a bold geometric ring, but you just don’t love the sharp lines on your finger. Or maybe you just happened upon an even better version of what you already love. It’s absolutely fine to be all over the place in the beginning. A good custom jeweler will entertain a “split-personality” if you just can’t make up your mind until you can decide which direction you’d like to pursue. Don’t be afraid to change directions mid-way through if that’s where your heart is leading you. An engagement ring is an incredibly personal, meaningful piece of jewelry, and your designer will understand that you just want to get it right. 

Don’t be open to sales-people trying to change your mind for you.

Even though you reserve the right to change your mind as many times as it takes to find the perfect engagement ring for you, you should never have to compromise your tastes to make a salesperson’s job easier. The beauty of choosing a custom engagement ring is that you get to have exactly what you want, regardless of what’s already available. 

Professionals can offer expert advice that can help you get along the way; for example, a jeweler may suggest changes to the architectural structure of a ring you may not have considered to make a stone more secure or a band fit better, or they might advise your stone and materials choice from a background of experience to make sure your ring is as beautiful in reality as it is in your dreams. They can even come up with cool ideas to incorporate a concept or symbolic message into the engagement ring. Your jeweler should not, however, try to edit your tastes or discourage your design ideas. It’s your ring. It doesn’t matter if what you want doesn’t make the “top engagement ring trends of the year” list, it’s personal, custom, and unique to you. 

One Secrete Fine Jewelry bride-to-be found an unusual hexagonal sapphire ring on Pinterest (left). She couldn’t find the original post, so she took the photo to seven DC area jewelers, all of whom tried to talk her out of it because it would be “too hard” to find a sapphire in that shape. At Secrete, we had a simple solution: we’d simply have to custom-cut the stone. After she requested a few tweaks to the design (bezel-set instead of prong-set, two tone platinum and gold instead of all yellow gold), we created the unique ring of her dreams (right). It wasn’t “too hard” at all.

Don’t expect every jewelry store to be capable of real custom design.

Almost every jewelry store will tout its ability to do “custom” design, including jewelry stores that operate from shopping mall kiosks and online mega-jewelers that “customize” with a create-your-own-ring wizard. The ability to choose the size of a pre-fab setting, the color of the gold, and the grade of the center stone is basic, not custom. You can choose the color, size, and fabric content of Hanes T-shirts on Amazon, but Hanes is not a custom tailor. Conversely, many artsy sellers on crafty online marketplaces are full of amazing ideas but may lack the professional jewelry experience and industry resources to make a high quality engagement ring that will last for generations. 

Most custom jewelers are old-school family establishments that use old world techniques. If you want a truly custom engagement ring, look for jewelers with portfolios of unique fine jewelry pieces, jewelers who use certified diamonds and high quality gemstones, who can tell you who will make your ring and where, who cast their own molds, who listen to you. At Secrète, we operate from a local workshop where our master jeweler creates each ring by hand. The master and the workshop are what sets up apart in our ability to create one-of-a-kind jewelry.

This gorgeous vintage-inspired custom engagement ring was truly one-of-a-kind for an adorable couple. Our bench jeweler began by making a little sculpture out of wax, then cast the gold and set each stone by hand. The result? Something as gorgeous and unique as the couple’s love story.

Expect a good jeweler to work with you, taking time to make drawings, show stones, and revise designs.

For most people, the process of custom-designing an engagement ring takes more than just one visit to the jewelry store. Expect your jeweler to devote a fair amount of time, attention, and effort to you and your design. Even if you’re coming in with exact photographs and measurements of exactly what you want, a professional who specializes in engagement rings will still have plenty of details to consider and refine. Whether this process occurs over multiple in-person visits, emails, or phone calls, expect to have a devoted expert helping you execute your ideas. Engagement rings, like relationships, are different with each couple. You may come up with your idea fairly quickly, or you may take months; no matter where you fall in the spectrum, you should trust your jeweler to be there every step of the way.

These engagement rings were custom designed using some diamonds from both brides’ families and some new diamonds. We went through several sketches and iterations of the designs before we found the perfect coordinating designs.

Interested in starting a custom engagement ring design with Secrète? Contact us today!